Reading Barbara’s blog, I noticed that she too had mentioned that she thought she would never find “that guy”. (well, in my case, ‘that girl”). I touched on this subject before. (I’d link the entry but I can’t for the life of me remember when I posted it.) Anyways, I’m half surprised to find someone else out there besides myself and my friend that felt the same way. It’s like you suddenly wake up in the morning, angry at first, wondering “Why the fuck do I have to be alone?” Then you slowly turn to melancholy. (I won’t say depressed, because I’m far beyond that. Besides, I’ve always liked the word melancholic.)
Anyhows, it should only make sense that there are more than 2 of us. Barb and her friend feel the same way, so that makes it 4 of us now that I know of. So there’s bound to be literally thousands, perhaps millions of people in this world that feel the same way. So why are we alone then? Kinda unthinkable eh?
But really, I accept that fact. I really do. I could go on the rest of my life being alone. I guess that makes me a “bachelor”. *shrug* Actually that reminds me of this weeks Sex and the City, where Charlotte (i believe or was it Miranda) said why are women “old maids” but men are “bachelors”? Why is that anyways? But I digress.
This also makes me think of a conversation I had with someone about living alone. You live alone for so long, you just get used to being alone. You do. You forget what it was like at one point in time where you had to actually think of another person sharing the same bathroom, or cooking in the same kitchen, washing the dishes, etc. You grow to like the lifestyle of being alone really. Which is not to say that I’m not impartial to being with someone, I think I just am beyond that at this point. Besides after my track record, I don’t think I want to get involved again. ;)
Relationships require too much work sometimes. You really have to work for it I believe. I’m not saying it’s not worth it. Please don’t get that impression. I think that love is worth fighting for.
People often mistake sex for love. It’s true. You spend all this time having fun, and you realize in between all those romantic rendezvous, you never really talk about things. And you never talk about the things that bother you about your partner. Like how you never like it how he/she doesn’t put the cap back onto the toothpaste or he never puts the toilet seat down. It’s all little things really. But you know, the big things are made up of hundreds or even thousands of little things. So you can’t really dismiss the little things.
“Little things use to mean so much to Shelley—I thought they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.” – The Crow
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